Dear Survivor: if you have survived sexual trauma, you may feel disconnected from your body. You may feel numb when it comes to sexual things, you may feel threatened, nervous, or intimidated when it comes to your sexuality.
These are all normal responses to sexual trauma. That is because when someone sexually assaults another person, they are not merely physically attacking that person - they are spiritually attacking them as well.
Sex is not merely a physical act. It is an act that involves mind, heart, body, and soul. You are a spiritual being having a physical experience. Sex opens up the deepest part of your soul to another person. When that gateway is violated against your will, it can create soul ties that can be devastating to your identity, your sexual drive, your emotional well being, and your overall mindset about sex.
Soul ties are created when two souls come together as one.
The two souls absorb energy from one another - and when sexual assault happens, the energy being absorbed from the two souls is violent, fearful, and filled with negativity. Sex is an act of two souls coming together as one, even when it is merely done in lust with no love or no commitment involved. Every single time a sexual act is committed between two people, their souls are merging together in the most vulnerable way two souls can. This is a spiritual occurrence, where invisible things are happening that have physical consequences.
Healing from a sexual assault is something that cannot merely happen on a physical level - it also has to take place in a person's spirit. Wounds that happen against the soul of a person cannot be healed by a physical band-aid only. There must be spiritual principles applied to the healing process.
I teach abstinence as a spiritual principle.
Abstinence is not about denying yourself physical pleasure, it is about protecting yourself from spiritual harm. Practicing abstinence can save a person years of mind-numbing harm and hard work in having to undo soul ties. However, when a person is sexually assaulted, it means they did not have a choice of abstinence. Abstinence as a healing practice after sexual assault is one of the most effective practices I have encountered yet.
Healing sexual trauma means reconnecting your mind and body.
When sexual trauma happens to a person, the mind disconnects from the body. This puts the person in a dissociative state as a means of protecting the victim. It creates a kind of numbness so that the victim doesn't feel the difficult emotions attached to the sexual encounter. The problem with this is that the numbing happens to all emotions - the uncomfortable ones as well as the ones that should be enjoyable.
Reconnecting your mind and body can be done through several spiritual practices such as:
*Meditation on the Word of God
*Confessing your fears
*Revisiting the hard memories and releasing them from your amygdala by confessing forgiveness against your aggressor
*Getting to know yourself again; spending alone time exploring those places in your soul that have been numbed from the trauma
*Talking with a counselor to seek advice
*Tracking your triggers to uncover their roots
Abstinence as a healing tool regenerates your spirit, soul, mind, and body.
When you practice abstinence and deny yourself casual sexual encounters, you are essentially hitting the reset button on your entire being. For survivors of sexual abuse, sometimes having casual sexual encounters can be a coping mechanism. Sometimes survivors of sexual assault have tied their worth and well-being into their sexual encounters, and having sex offers a kind of fleeting comfort that they still have worth and purpose despite the deep spiritual pain they are trying to numb. They want to feel desired and practice having authority over their sexual encounters.
The truth about casual sexual encounters is that they create damage and do not offer a person any real healing or perspective into their healing process. That is why practicing abstinence gives the survivor more control and power over their minds, hearts, bodies, and souls than having repetitive one-night stands or sexual encounters that have no real love or commitment behind them. When you take control of your base fleshly desires of lust and choose abstinence as a spiritual practice, you can undo all of the soul ties ever created, including the ones that were done against your will.
Abstinence creates empowerment over your flesh and thought processes. It refreshes your mind in that it creates an open space for you to rediscover your spirit-body connection. It gives more power to your spirit so that you are able to control your flesh. It may be considered an archaic or even Biblical, outdated concept in today's society, but there is truth to be told that sometimes, being progressive in your healing means looking back to ancient practices that gave success to our ancestors.
*Fun Mental Health Fact*
Sexual trauma can be linked to several different mental health disorders. Borderline Personality Disorder can have a link to sexual assault and the fear of abandonment, as well as depression, PTSD, Anxiety, and addiction issues. Sexual trauma is one of the hardest forms of trauma to recover from because of the dissociation it causes between mind and body. It may also cause attachment issues in that when a victim is sexually assaulted, it creates a negative inner narrative that causes the victim to either build walls to prevent others from becoming close to them, or become attached to quickly and easily in new relationships. Much research suggests that survivors of sexual abuse and trauma are 26 times more likely to form addiction issues in life as well.
For more resources on recovering from rape and sexual trauma, click here (you will be redirected to another website).