Dear Survivor: Beloved Means Secure


What a beautiful, yet mysterious word.

Beloved means you are secure.

It means that beyond your flaws, beyond your struggles, beyond your worries and stresses, there is a place of eternal solitude where your identity can never be shaken. Beyond the grips of fear, your identity as beloved is an eternal truth.

I know you were treated like garbage.

I know you were screamed at, manipulated, and made to think horrible things about yourself and the person abusing you.

I know every single second you endured beneath the hands of such oppression was another second you spent doubting your worth. I know the fear was crippling at the time, and may still be gripping your soul in the aftermath of it all.

Dear survivor, when you begin to doubt your worth, your identity begins to shift. When you begin to listen to the voice of fear, you stop listening to the voice of love.

When your identity shifts from beloved (secure) to full of doubt, second guessing, worried that you'll never do or say anything right, then you start to lose focus of the truth of your existence.

You start to feel burdened by just existing.

That should never, ever be the case.

Your life is worth celebrating every single moment of; every flaw and weakness you have is worth learning about, growing through, and being loved through.

Believing that you are anything other than beloved shatters your identity - it draws you away from the truth and traps you into a box of fear, pain, resentment, bitterness, shame, and guilt.

Dear survivor, it doesn't matter what your abuser said or did to you.

They are not the hands that formed you, nor will they be the hands that break you.

Your abuser was a weak individual that could only live day to day by sucking the energy and purpose away from others.

Your abuser chose to respond to the stress and trauma of their life by manipulating others to gain control, to gain some sense of self-worth and value.

Your abuser doesn't know their own identity, nor do they know their value.

They are not secure, and deep down, they don't see themselves as beloved, either, no matter what they may say in the thick of things.

Beloved means secure.

And you, dear survivor, are secure.

God is near the brokenhearted; the energy, force, and power of love is drawn and attracted to the suffering of authentic souls - to comfort, console, heal, and bring new growth from the places of ashen shame and guilt.

The darkness you have been walking through is getting lighter.

Day by day, you will take one more step towards your true identity:

As beloved, secure, untangled from the confusion of trauma and abuse, un-clenched once and for all from the grasp of fear.

*Fun Mental Health Fact*:

Homeostasis is the body's ability to remain secure and stable, even throughout ever changing environments and external factors.

When you live in a constant state of "fight/flight" (extreme fear and stress), the parts of your body necessary for maintaining homeostasis shut down.

When homeostasis shuts down, disease begins to form.

Therefore, stress management is one of the most important mental health factors in the aftermath of surviving abuse and trauma!

Recognizing when your brain and body are triggered and shifting into a "fight/flight" mode is the first step.

The second step is analyzing how you are thinking about the struggle/trigger you are experiencing. How do you entertain the fear in your thoughts?

Stop fear and panic in their tracks and take away their power by simply *thinking* differently.

Protect your homeostasis by protecting your stress levels and your belief in the voice of fear. Choose the voice of love.

Protect your stress levels by protecting your thought life from hopelessness, fear, panic, etc.

Soul, Body, and Spirit truly do work together to create the ONE being: YOU.

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